How to be "posh" according to Alan Smith

"If you're too stupid to use the apostrophe, then you're too stupid to have a degree from this university!" 

   My blogging class at UCO had the pleasure of hearing British writer and teacher, Alan Smith, speak to our class yesterday! Alan is a writer for one of the world's best newspapers, The Guardian. He writes a lot about prison because he used to work in a prison so he has seen things in quite different perspectives. Smith didn't start writing until he was 50 (and let me tell you - he barely even looked 50 to me) so I was quite surprised to hear this! Before he started writing he worked construction pouring concrete. He explained to us that one day he was walking home from work and he looked up in a school building and through the window saw a student leaning against a rail talking to his professor. He explained how relaxed that conversation looked and was envious of them. So he decided to go to school and become a teacher. 

   At 49 years old Alan Smith started writing his first novel because he had planned to have it published by the time he turned 50. He told us how he made 400 copies trying to sell his books and get them put on the shelves of bookstores, but at the end of the day he "came home with his heart in his boots," and never sold one copy. By the end of the week he ended up selling the film rights of his novel for $1,500.00. Unfortunately, the film never actually got made because the man who was suppose to make the film went on to make the Harry Potter movies. He made a joke about seeing the man now excepting an Oscar on TV for his movies, and he was standing their guest speaking to a University in little ole Oklahoma.

   The main things I took away from hearing him speak was the importance of never giving up and basically not taking no for an answer. He told us to "always write for something - don't ever write for free." He explained to us how he called every agent from A-Z, and not giving up because he found an agent by the name of Patrick Walsh (hints the "W" being at the end of the alphabet).

   The end of his rant was all directed towards education and grammar. He said, "you have to be able to spell, know how to use a semi-colon, and the apostrophe. Using an apostrophe is like putting on the right tie for the day. It separates the stupid from the intelligent. Apostrophe is the perfect dish to get into the posh club and the posh club pays." 

Happy Halloween Everyone!